Due to the sketchy living conditions at University Park North we’ve been reduced to sitting in the dark trying to sniff out where the source of smoke smell is coming from. There is shit in the shared hallway, as well as lead based peeling paint everywhere (there is lead paint on the countertops in the kitchen tops too! Ah yes, the countertops, yum. It tastes great with our freshly chopped veggies). The tiniest noise made any distance away can be heard from anywhere inside your house (i.e. the guy who sneezes the loudest fucking sneeze I’ve ever heard every 20 minutes). Our light switches are wired incorrectly, causing a switch in the hallway to turn off a computer in one of the bedrooms and blow out the microwave in the kitchen. We even have a lovely mosquito infestation that results in everyone being covered in dozens of bites. Oh, did I forget to mention the asbestos in the basement and no cold water in the kitchen? Our stove does this weird thing where every time you turn it on all the heat vents through one one of the stove coils and melts everything surrounding it. The windows in the bedrooms are conveniently arranged so all of your neighbors can look through it and see you naked. This place is obviously super fun! There should be no doubt in your mind that should move in now. =)